Not all emojis were born equal when it comes to hooking up! When you want to hook up fast, then use the heart, eggplant, spraying water, and hearts in their eyes emojis, but steer clear of the praying, poo, ring, or church emojis unless you want to scare someone away! Other emojis to avoid include the knife, injection, centipede, scary face, devil face, alien face, and spider emojis.

Welcome to yet another sonaughty.com free to read sex advice guide. Keep on reading to see which are the best and worst emojis to use if you want to hook up with sexy folk in a quick way with less words, and more simple pictograms.

Thanks to the innovation of our research team, you are now reading one of the most highly advanced hook up guides ever written. Brought to you using a combination of internet research, basic literacy, and an incredible amount of coffee, sonaughty.com is exceptionally proud to introduce the following collection of carefully selected characters. Now YOU can hook up the easy way, and fast, using only this guide, and whatever reserves of innate wit you may be lucky enough to possess.

If you want to know what are the best and worst emojis you can use if you want to hook up, then you would be wise to remember that an emoji is a shortcut to LANGUAGE. Since the earliest times, humans have used simple images to convey complex meanings to each other. The ancient Egyptians, should they still exist in our benighted age, would be dope at texting. They'd be all like "jackal head, big jar, whip, sideways face," except with screens and not papyrus, (because how do you even recharge papyrus?) and it would be totes cool. These days, though, we don't have ancient Egyptians, only regular ones, and they communicate using squiggles. For the rest of us, emojis are the way to go.

Yes please! Weird emojis have been observed to kill boners, and just make the sender look like a tool. Who wants that? There are basically only a handful of emojis that you really need to know about when you want to talk dirty (in a not creepy way) with a potential hookup, but we will tell you about them in a minute after we have had another cup of tea. Okay, fine, scroll down and you'll find out top ten emojis and our, uh, bottom ten emojis, at the end of this article. By the way, before you get there, we are willing to give up a few of our secrets on how to use them: sparingly. If you fill a screen with emojis, you are going to come across as pretty immature, or just needy, or possibly mentally compromised. The best way to use emojis is in short, sharp bursts. If the other person sends you a pic and you happen to be a guy, try a cheeky eggplant and a spurting water if you think she is in the mood, otherwise send some hearts for eyes guys, or a flame and a 100 % sign.

Yes. Stop it.

Congratulations! You are now halfway through your FREE guide to the best and worst emojis you can use if you want to hook up. As a reward, you can sit down. If you were already sitting down, you can... whatever. To answer the question, if you are a graphic designer and want to make your own emojis, then yes, you can do that. But no-one will be able to talk to you using them. Since it is highly probable that nobody talks to you anyway, this doesn't really matter. *crying graphic designer face*

First, carefully select your emoji from pages and pages of hundreds of choices. Next, click on it. It should appear on the screen. Can you see it? If you cannot see the emoji on your screen, it is possible that you did not click on it correctly. Try again. Can you see your chosen emoji on the screen? If so, let's move on. If the emoji which you have selected is not in the required position, it may have to be deleted, and the entire process begun again. This may be a good time to review whether the emoji you have chosen is appropriate. Have another look through the many thousands of emojis that are available. Now begin the process again, and keep trying until you find the best and worst emojis you can use if you want to hook up.

What are we hoping to achieve by using these simple pictograms in this way? The primary outcome which we desire is to hook up with someone. This involves a certain amount of chit chat before we meet the lucky fellow, or woman. Using a heart emoji denotes "love," while a cheeky poo emoji will tell your would be beau or belle that you are into the act of coprophilia, so be sparing with that one. Moving on to food, one can deploy the harmless looking aubergine (or egg plant, as it is known in America) to depict an erect penis (!), while a harmless seeming peach can be used as a stand in for the ever popular female butt.

While trying to get yer noggin around the baffling subject of the best and worst emojis you can use if you want to hook up, it may become apparent that the device which you are using is in point of fact an utterly useless rectangle of shiny, compressed poop. There are ways around it of you do have an issue with your device. The main one is to simply use a different device. This can be done in a number of simple ways. First, try going to the library and using one of their computers. Now, you may need to be a member of the library before you do this, but it is easy to be a member of a library. All you need to do is to go in to the library with either one piece of ID, or a few pieces of ID, or some utility bills and something that shows who you are, and hey presto, the good people of the library (librarians) will issue you with a brand spanking new library card, and you will be good to go. Another way to get around the issue of having a device which does not work so well with emojis is to suck it up and go out and buy a new one, you cheapskate. Go on, Scrooge, get out your wallet and go buy a new phone, or a tablet, or anything which will allow you to chat with folk using emojis. Another way is to just give up. On everything. Just kidding, we do not condone giving up on everything. Keep going. You're not alone. Now buy a new cell phone.

Number one, absolutely. If you want to make a quick connection with a bod on the net then you can do a lot worse than to bring out the old heart guy. Use it as much as you like, and you simply cannot go wrong.

You love them, and so does the rest of the net. In case you do not know, they stand for kisses. Mostly used by gals, though guys can use them to, obvs.

What do you think it means? It stands for something rather rude. Oh, alright then, we can tell you what this means -- it means a penis. Used by guys mostly, or by gals flirting with guys.

This also stands for something rather rude. It follows the egg plant fella. Oh, okay, you really want to know? It means cum. Use it with the egg plant fella and you have the start of a story.

This just means that you really mean whatever you put it next to. Use it with the flame and it means that you think the other person is really hot.

As opposed to party pooper, the party popper can be used to denote pretty much any fun event.

A simple, single rose can be used to show any romantic idea. Also use the flames emoji.

Your go to emoji to show that you agree with a thing, or if you like a comment.

A kind of aw shucks feeling is shown if you use this guy. Not to be used seriously, just if you are a bit miffed.

Use this one a lot and they will be sure to open up to you.

It's just icky, and does nothing for your charm levels.

This will only serve to remind your texting pal that they have a family, or that you may have started one -- or that you want to. While some folk may like the family emoji, it is not really one to use for a hot and heavy convo.

Unless you are overtly religious, of course. This one could be used if you want to show how very, very keen you are to se the other person, but in all honesty it will just make you look a little too desperate, so avoid it.

Just no. Why would you even use this? Why would anyone? Why does it even exist?

Also no. Sigh... Why did anyone make a gun emoji? Use this if you want to look like a psycho.

Stop it. Another one to add to the list if you want to make yourself as scary as possible. I mean, it could be a fist bump, but it probs will not be taken that way.

Kind of cool if you want to be like, hey, I got big arms. But apart from that, don't do it.

Horrifying. Put it away. This is a great one to use if you want to ruin your chances in seconds flat.

Great if you both are into UFOs, but other than that, don't use it -- unless you want to end up... being alienated. Sigh.

Using an emoji that looks odd will just make you look even more odd.

We have come to a sticky end -- the end of our hookup advice guide, that is! Did you love it? -- we hope you did! If you are still left scratching your head (or other body part) over a hookup advice conundrum, why not peek our other FREE and totally great SoNaughty hookup advice guides, only available on sonaughty.com!

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